salvation is created

I've fought
this fight for years
my whole life
that life without you
before you

Have you ever won
you asked me before
i ran my knife through your heart
you asked that question in your own blood
and still expected me to answer it

yes i have
i told you following it with
every time
for some reason you smiled and kissed me
you filled my mouth
with your bloody words and
sucked the air from my lungs before
you choked on death

do i win by losing you
i asked your corpse as it fell to the ground following it with
i ask that every time too

my salvation is
what i make it is
what i believe it to be
my salvation will be
a dark lifeless sleep
without movement
without my thoughts or theirs
without dark butterflies of dreams
without you

and for the first time
in this life
it scared me
even in death
to be without

to be without
you

the knife rusted by
hearts before
in self defense
doesn't work anymore

my new weapon is
understanding
which is hard to control
sometimes


but so am i


and so are you


lead us not into temptation
but deliver us from evil
we're supposed to commit
upon each other
my only weapon now is
understanding
and it will never abuse you
and I will never abuse you

we wont lie
to each other or
to ourselves

i love you
love is the salvation
i've sought after
my whole life
that life without you
and before you