listening for beginners

i've been listening
so long
to so many
i've forgotten
how to be
listened to

they tell me
i'm not a good friend
when i tell them
the truth.

the truth is no one's friend
the wind once told me
as it blew a kiss.

the truth is no one's friend?
then why do so many ally themselves to it?
why do so many stand up for it?
why are people hurt when they don't get it?
why are people hurt when they get it?
why do they fear it and hope for it at the same time?

I've been listening
so long
my mouth has made a permanent smile
sealed by years of dust and rest.
when i'm asked
for the truth
it doesn't get a chance
to ruin your day,
but by nature,
it is truth after all,
it finds you
and ruins it anyway.

apathy is a brilliant color
and i've painted every wall with it.
and it's very hard to paint over.

what was i saying again?